In love with whom?
by MathemagicianSVU
Summary: This is about Hermione being in love during her sixth year. Rated M for a good reason. Girl on girl romance. HG/GW (maybe more). Update: It's got HG/HP too now. And it's a drama because of self-mutilation and depressions.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first story, so don't be too stern. I'm a big fan of Harry Potter and unfortunately I do not own him, but JK Rowling does. I have to say to homophobes: if you don't like girl-on-girl sex, then stop reading before it's too late :p I'm Dutch, so my English skills are not as good as English people's, but I wanted to write in English to practise (and nobody reads the Dutch ones) :p I'm sorry if you don't like it. Otherwise, enjoy reading it!**

**Chapter 1**

Hermione was packing her stuff. It was like she just unpacked it when she got home, but she was not staying at home for that long. She's been invited at the burrow to spend the rest of the holiday break. It was only a few weeks ago that Hermione and her friends were at the department of mysteries where sudden twenty Death Eaters showed up to get the prophecy. After a little while Voldemort also showed up, trying to kill one of her best friends, Harry. Actually all of them almost got killed, but they were all lucky. Except of Sirius Black. He got killed by his niece, Bellatrix Lestrange. Hermione was wondering if Harry was okay. He didn't seem to be before the holiday break, but he didn't want to talk so much about Sirius. Actually he didn't want to talk at all. She really hoped that he will be, because it must be very hard to lose someone who's almost as close as a parent. She packed the rest of the stuff and went downstairs.

* * *

Hermione walked to the door of the Burrow, the house of her two best friends Ron and Ginny. She really liked spending her time there during holiday break. She went through the door and immediately got hugged by Mrs. Weasley.

"Ron and Ginny are upstairs," she said. "I will ask if they come downstairs. As usual, you'll be sleeping in Ginny's room."

So she did and Ron and Ginny came downstairs to greet their friend. Ron gave her a awkward handshake and Ginny hugged Hermione.

"So, when is Harry coming? I heard something about Dumbledore picking him up tomorrow?" asked Hermione.

"Yes, he will be picked up tomorrow night. Dumbledore said something about having a job to do before he brings Harry here, so I think he will be here the morning after," answered Mrs. Weasley.

"Shall we go to my room with your stuff?" asked Ginny.

"Yes," answered Hermione while picking up her stuff.

* * *

"So, how are you?" Ginny asked.

Hermione shrugged. "Dunno. Lately, I'm a little lonely. I miss Viktor. When he was at Hogwarts, I really felt desired. And a few weeks ago was a little heavy, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, you're right. I got Dean, but he told me he wanted a break from our relationship, because we're not going to see each other for two months. So.." Ginny said. "But I thought you had a new crush. If I'm right, you're in love with Ron, aren't you?"

Hermione was getting red. "How.. Who.. What?"

Ginny grinned. "I see how you look at him. It was not very difficult to figure it out. You're an open book to me. I have already known you for four years."

"But.. it will never be something, because Ron's got the emotional range of a teaspoon and will never see I like him," Hermione said. "Actually I think he didn't like a girl except of Fleur Delacour. He never had a girlfriend or he didn't even fool around with girls."

"Yeah, I see. He is like a little boy. He's got the same experience with girls as a boy who's three year old," Ginny grinned.

"You don't think he's gay, do you?" Hermione asked worried.

"No, I don't think so. He really liked Fleur. Oh, I almost forgot. She is coming tomorrow. Bill and Fleur are getting married next year," Ginny said a little disgusted.

"Why do you sound like you have to eat a pound of cockroach clusters?" Hermione asked.

"Fleur is really really annoying. And every time she walks in Ron forgets about the rest of the world and keeps drooling," Ginny grinned, but stopped with it when she saw Hermione's face. "What..?"

"It's nothing.. It's just that he looks at her and she's not even nice. He doesn't even see me standing. Not in that way." Hermione gasped, tears rolling from her eyes.

Ginny felt sorry for her and threw her arms around Hermione, comforting her. She really didn't know what to say right know, Hermione being so sad.

"And You-Know-Who being back isn't really helping either, because it makes everybody feel so sad. And that makes me very unhappy," now Hermione really cried. When she regained her breath she looked in Ginny's eyes, who was still holding her tight. Ginny gazed back. Hermione really calmed down because of that, but she also felt a kind of different. She knew everything was going to be alright, because Ginny's eyes were very comforting. She didn't know what she wanted exactly, but the one thing she wanted now was never stop looking in those beautiful brown comforting eyes. She never noticed how beautiful they actually were. It was like the time was standing still. Maybe there went a minute by, maybe it was half an hour. But all of a sudden Ginny moved closer to Hermione and kissed her gently on the lips. Hermione was completely surprised, but kissed Ginny back. It felt so _damn_ good to feel that lips against her own lips. Maybe it was completely wrong to do this, because she didn't even know if she was bisexual and Ginny was with Dean, but her feeling sad it was okay. She felt Ginny's tongued against her bottom lip and opened her mouth. Their tongues met and Hermione forgot about everything. She kissed Ginny like she never kissed Viktor. A hand ran through her hair and another hand caressing her back. Hermione grabbed Ginny's waist and drew her closer. She immediately felt Ginny's breasts against hers. She thought she was never more turned on than now. Now she really started doubting about her sexual preference. Apparently, Ginny thought the same, because she slowly started to unbutton Hermione's blouse revealing her bra. Hermione found the bottom of Ginny's shirt and took it off. Now both Hermione and Ginny were half-naked. Hermione let her hands run over Ginny's body: first along her waist, then over her stomach, and then she slid her hands over Ginny's breasts. They were not big, but well-formed. She undid Ginny's bra and started caressing her breasts. Ginny moaned and undid Hermione's bra. She started unzipping Hermione's pants and took it off. Soon both of them only wore knickers. Ginny softly pushed Hermione on her bed, starting to make a trace of kisses along her jaw, her ear, her neck, her breasts. She also used her tongue. Hermione shuddered and ran her hands through Ginny's hair. Ginny licked Hermione's nipples and caressed her other breast. Now Hermione really started to feel turned on. Ginny continued her trace of kisses to her stomach and started to make circles with her tongue around Hermione's bellybutton. Suddenly she felt a hand on her thigh. It slid slowly higher. Hermione couldn't stop squirm. Ginny understood she was allowed to go on and kissed Hermione's pubic bone. She took off Hermione's knickers very carefully and slid her tongue across her nub. Hermione started squirming like hell. She never felt this before. Of course she masturbated sometimes and Viktor once fingered her, but she never felt a tongue down there. She started moaning and groaning. Ginny slid two fingers in her vagina and let it slip in and out, touching her G-spot. She licked and licked, till Hermione almost climaxed. Hermione stopped it and put Ginny on the bed and started kissing and licking her nipples while she was taking off her knickers. She slid two fingers in Ginny's vagina and was a little amazed how easy that went. She was so wet, she could easily get another finger in it, so she did. She slid her hand in and out and Ginny started to squirm and moan. Hermione started licking Ginny's nub and Ginny moaned more and more. Right before she climaxed, she got Hermione kissing her, sliding her hand down to Hermione's nub. Hermione did the same. They started fingering each other, both triggered by the feeling they got from each other. They went faster and faster till they both climaxed. They were just finished, when Mrs. Weasley screamed for dinner..


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So, I'm writing a second chapter, because I want to XD I don't know where the story is going, but I'm trying to fit in these passages in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.. I cannot promise this story will only be about Hermione and Ginny. It's mostly about Hermione. And some other romances maybe :p I hope you enjoy this one! It's not very long, but I'm out of time now, so maybe more next time.**

**Chapter 2**

The moment passed by. They were both frozen. What did just happen? Why did it happen? Will it ever happen again? Hermione rejected that thought. She didn't want to think about this right now. She had to go downstairs, to the Weasleys. With Ginny. Ginny who just.. let her feel _that_ way. She didn't know what to think of it, so absolutely confused she is. Ginny was the first to move. She picked up their clothes and they both dressed up again. The others won't believe this was happened anyway, because they didn't believe it themselves. So they went downstairs.

* * *

That night they didn't talk about what happened earlier that day. They didn't talk _at all._ Hermione was only thinking about what happened. She didn't think about _girls_ that way. But she's also never thought about _guys_ that way. Except the one time with Viktor. But that wasn't as good as with Ginny. Not any _close. _But she was in love with Viktor and not with Ginny. Or did she just _think_ she was not in love with Ginny. Lately she thought she was in love with Ron. Or was she just falling for the other Weasley? The _girl_ Weasley.

She must have looked very worried, because Ginny looked at her, feeling sorry.

"Hermione?" she asked quietly. "Are you asleep yet?"

"No," answered Hermione. "I'm not being abled to catch some sleep."

"You're thinking, aren't you?"

"Honestly, yes." She bit on her lip, looking very seriously. "Aren't you then?"

"Of course." Ginny looked very glad. "I didn't know that doing _it_ with girls could be so nice," she grinned.

Hermione produced a faint smile. "Alright, good night Ginny."

"Good night Hermione," Ginny yawned.

But Hermione slept not very well that night. When she slept, she dreamt about Ginny. And Ron. And Ginny.

* * *

That morning she was tremendously tired and also, to the annoyance of Hermione, a little aroused. Before she woke up, she dreamt about Ginny touching her _everywhere_. It looked so real, that it took a few minutes Hermione realized it was a dream. A little ashamed of her feelings, she went to the bathroom. She closed her eyes and thought of the dream again. She suddenly realized she was so aroused, she let her hand slip into her knickers and fantasized about Ginny doing this.

She was already trembling on her feet, when someone knocked on the door. She was so shocked she couldn't do anything that moment: she just froze.

"It's me, Ginny. Let me in." Hermione regained her consciousness and opened the door.

"Hey, what have you been taking so long?" asked Ginny, till she saw Hermione's face: it was as red as Ginny's hair. "Oh," she muttered. She locked the door and turned to Hermione. "You dreamt about it, didn't you?"

"How do you know me so well?" Hermione answered.

"It's more that I thought it was rather normal than weird," Ginny answered. "I dreamt about it too." She walked a little closer to Hermione and laid her hands on her waist. Hermione hesitated but couldn't resist the temptation. She kissed Ginny passionately, like she never did to anybody. Their tongues met and explored each other's mouths. The brown-haired girl let her hands run through the redhead's hair, massaging her head skin. Ginny pulled Hermione a little closer, so Hermione could feel Ginny's nipples through her T-shirt. Hermione took it off, while interrupting the kiss for a little while.

Now they were only wearing their knickers. Ginny pulled off her knickers and so did Hermione. Not interrupting their hot embrace, Ginny pushed Hermione in the shower. The hot water caused a lot of steam in the bathroom. Ginny started kissing Hermione on her jaw and in her neck. She licked and sucked her nipples till they got stiff. She massaged to other with her hand and pinched her nipple softly.

Hermione gasped of pleasure. She was so aroused, she felt the moist _down there_. Ginny slipped two fingers in and out, and again. She continued her trace of wet kisses down her stomach and circled around her belly-button. Hermione was seriously trembling now, desiring more, _down _there.

Ginny pushed Hermione to the wall, and ran her tongue over her most sensitive spot. Hermione shuddered and almost lost her balance. But then Ginny licked and sucked it like she never did before. She put an extra finger in _it, _in and out, on the rhythm of her tongue. Hermione pushed her hips forward, so she slipped down the wall on the floor, but Ginny didn't stop. Hermione fell in a million pieces when she climaxed. She could stop squirming till Ginny stopped.

They were lying there for a few seconds.. or a few minutes.. or a few hours.. Anyway, time passed by, when they realized Harry would come today. Vaguely they heard Ron mentioning Harry's name to someone, when the realized he must be already here. They washed themselves a little, dressed up again, gave each other one quick kiss and went out of the bathroom..


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I guess the next chapter will be a little more dramatic, because I think that will fit a little more than a romantical story about Ginny and Hermione. I want it to be an impossible "love", because I think that's more fascinating and recognizable.. And I also want to put some things in I went through (so this story will be a little therapeutic to me), so I'm sorry if that bothers you :p It's my first story, so let's see how it goes.**

**Chapter 3**

****The following days were perfectly normal. Hermione heard from Harry about the prophecy, which was quite a shock, because it told that either Harry or Voldemort has to die. When he told, she felt like crying, but she didn't show, because Harry would be more scared than he was already. So now Hermione was carrying the burden of her _thing_ with Ginny and Harry's "problem". It's not surprising Hermione was feeling worse and worse. Lately she felt like crying all day. The one good thing in her life was the fact she's got "Outstanding" for almost all of her OWLs. She also thought that a trip to Diagon Alley would help to diffuse the tension, but after they saw Malfoy at Borgin and Burkes, Harry couldn't stop talking about Malfoy being a Death Eater. Which was ridiculous, because why would Voldemort want a sixteen year old boy? It was actually a bit annoying how Harry kept beginning about it, so she just ignored him when he did.

So when you count all these things, you wouldn't be surprised Hermione was glad she could go back to Hogwarts, except for the fact that Harry would be more suspicious about Malfoy at Hogwarts, where he could observe him all day, which he wasn't able to do at the Burrow. But here she was always with people and at Hogwarts she could at least retire to the library.

* * *

The journey with the Hogwarts Express went well, except for the last half an hour. Harry went away with Neville and didn't come back yet, whereas Neville returned. When they arrived at the station, Harry wasn't back yet, so they decided that Harry got off the train by himself.

"But we have to take his luggage. Otherwise he won't have it, because I don't think he's gonna get it right now." Hermione suggested.

So they went to the carriages and the Thestrals and rode to the castle. Hermione was still worried about Harry when they arrived. She was possibly more worried when she saw Harry didn't arrive yet. When they entered the Great Hall and noticed Harry wasn't there either, she became sick of worry.

Right after Dumbledore's speech Harry entered the Great Hall. He was covered in blood. It didn't take him long till he saw them so they could ask.

* * *

That evening Harry told her what happened. She thought Malfoy was up to something, but still didn't think he was a Death Eater. That just couldn't be true. Why would Voldemort let Malfoy join? It didn't seem legit. Ron thought the same. It didn't happen that often that Ron and Hermione were united about something, but this time Harry stood alone.

They had a problem concerning Hagrid. He thought Ron, Harry and she would choose Care of Magical Creatures, which obviously they didn't. They didn't have the guts to tell it to him, because he would be so disappointed. Hermione felt really guilty. At the moment she was unhappier than she was before. She couldn't stop thinking about her feelings towards Ron and Ginny. She didn't know what to do. She only knew that when she saw Ginny with Dean, she was so sad, that she wanted to hurt herself so bad. She was really jealous and that made her sick of herself.

One of the good things the days brought in was that Harry and Ron got in to Potions class. Bad thing was he's got a book of Slughorn and it was full of written passages, mostly improvements or additions. To crown it all Slughorn has invited the Slug Club to a party, where they were allowed to bring a guest. Hermione thought it would be nice to invite Ron, since he was the only one of her close friends who wasn't invited. Ron accepted this afternoon.

* * *

One of the following evenings they were doing homework in the common room. Hermione was really tired, because she didn't sleep that well last night. She dreamt about Ginny and Ron - not at the same time - and thought a lot about it. She also concluded Harry was in love with Ginny. Lately he was being so weird in her presence. She decided it would be better to be only in love with Ron and not with Ginny. This decision was followed by another dream about Ginny touching her all over her body, which confused Hermione more and more.

But this moment she was sitting on the couch by the fireside, thinking about that dream. Almost everybody has gone to bed now, only Dean, Ginny, Ron, Harry and she were there yet. Suddenly Dean went to bed and Ginny turned to them. Ron and Harry decided it would be a good idea to follow Dean and also went to bed. Now Hermione and Ginny were alone, but it took a few minutes before she realized. Hermione was still staring into her book and Ginny just sat there.

"Well, I think I'm gonna go now then.." Ginny said. She stood up, but instead of walking to the dormitories, she walked to Hermione. "Hey, are you alright? You seem a little bit pale. You also didn't say a word tonight."

Hermione didn't say a word, but looked into Ginny's eyes. She didn't know what to say. You don't just _tell_ someone you consider your crush that she _is, _when you haven't decided if you even like girls yet. But Ginny thought she knew enough.

"It's Ron, isn't it?" she asked. Hermione didn't want to lie to Ginny, but didn't want to tell the truth either. The only thing she wanted that moment was Ginny not being with Dean, but with her. A lot of time went by when they just sat there, not talking. Till suddenly Ginny sat down on Hermione's lap and hugged her. Hermione felt the tears burn in her eyes, but tried not to give in. She desperately wanted to kiss Ginny, but she couldn't, so she just hugged Ginny back.

"It's gonna be okay," Ginny said. Hermione started crying now. She felt so horrible. She was heart-broken, while nobody rejected her. The fact she cannot _be_ with the one she wants. And the fact that the one she considers to be the one she wants was consoling her now was also making her very depressed. Not sad, but depressed. Hermione felt like she didn't want to live anymore, which was ridiculous, because she was in Gryffindor. You had to be _brave_ to be in Gryffindor, not suicidal. But she didn't think of committing suicide. She just wished she was never born. Or just not existed.

That night she felt so miserable that she couldn't stop crying. She was pushing her head into her pillow, so nobody could hear her cry. She became mad with grief. With the curtains closed, she got a nail file and put her pajama pants a little down. She took the file and scratched herself in her leg till deep scratches started to form. It caused a lot of pain and the wounds started bleeding, but she stopped crying when she did. She felt a bit of relieved when she did. You can say it felt a kind of _good_. Which was weird, because now she was hurt. The thing was that the _emotional _hurt has become _physical _hurt, which was better. She bound her wounds and went to sleep..


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I'm having exams next week, so this could be my last update for the next two weeks. Actually, I know myself and I think that wouldn't be right :p I think I'm not gonna resist the temptation to write anyway :p Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy next chapter :p**

**Chapter 4**

A couple of weeks passed by since Hermione cried in Ginny's arms. Harry had his first few lessons with Dumbledore and it seemed he was not gonna teach Harry some advanced defensive spells, but everything he knew about Voldemort's past. Seemed legit, but it was rather odd. Harry's potions book was getting more suspicious than ever. It really seemed it belonged to someone who was dark and bad, but she couldn't put a finger on it. Some things were changed the last weeks: Hermione thought it would be better to just forget Ginny and decided she would go for Ron. Today was the first Quiddith game. Gryffindor against Slytherin. To Hermione it didn't mean a lot, except the fact she could watch Ron the whole time. He was being so nice to her lately.

* * *

A few hours later when she wished Ron and Harry good luck - suspiciously and angry, because Harry put Felix Felicis in Ron's drink, which is forbidden, but she would discuss it later - and took place on the bleachers, she felt butterflies in her stomach. She really hoped Gryffindor would win, so she could maybe celebrate the victory with Ron, by kissing him.

It wasn't a very tense game, because Ron was unbelievably good and almost stopped every attack, but they won. Hermione was so happy. Except for the fact it wasn't honest. Ron and Harry cheated and that was so wrong. She was becoming so mad. She stormed into the changing room when she saw everybody except Ron and Harry left and confronted Harry with it. Harry only grinned and showed her the flask, but it was still full. But unwillingly she became mad anyway and ran away.

When she entered the common room after a long walk, to cool down, she saw Ron kissing Lavender, in a deep embrace. She froze for a second, but then felt as hurt as possible. She was really heart-broken. First Ginny, now Ron. The world stopped turning for a second. Or a minute. Or maybe a few hours. She ran away through the portrait and went into one of the classrooms she passed by. She sat down on a desk and tears were running from her eyes. She cried like she didn't cry in weeks. She was so unhappy, depressed.. Sad. Nothing seemed to get the pain away. She would drown in her grief. She felt it. She conjured some birds without really knowing that.

Suddenly Harry entered the room and looked at the birds. He didn't say a word. He just walked to Hermione and sat down next to her.

"Did you see them?" Hermione muttered.

"Eh, yes," answered Harry. He threw an arm around her, when Ron and Lavender entered the room.

It was an awkward situation. Hermione attacked Ron with the birds and stormed out of the classroom and went to another classroom. She leaned against the wall and started crying again. She scratched her wounds in her leg, which hurt. It relieved the fact she was really heart-broken.

Harry entered the room again and walked to Hermione. Normally he didn't know how to handle girls who cry, but he embraced Hermione and consoled her. One of his hands was caressing her hair. Time passes by till Hermione stopped crying, but Harry didn't stop hugging her. She laid her head on his shoulder. It felt good that someone was comforting her. She realized he felt the same way. He was heart-broken too. He had to watch Ginny and Dean being together, while he was so in love with Ginny. And he might feel guilty, because Ginny is his best friend's sister and that's always a kind of taboo.

She raised her head and gazed in Harry's eyes and she knew he understood her. And she understood him. Her face was so painful because of the crying. Her eyes must be miserable. Harry gazed back in her eyes, seeming a little absent-minded. Their heads came closer till Hermione could see her own reflection is his eyes. His green eyes, filled with sorrows. Their noses almost touched. It felt like two people she vaguely knew stood there, just staring into each other's eyes.

Hermione pressed her lips against Harry's. She realized Harry was in love with Ginny, so she drew back her head. Harry looked Hermione in the eyes for a moment, but then kissed her back. It was a less clumsy kiss than the first, but more passionate. Her thoughts were gone that moment. She felt Harry wanted to feel her tongue, so she opened her mouth and he did too. Their tongues met. Harry was a good kisser. They seemed to feel what's right to each other. Harry brushed his hand through Hermione's hair and his other hand caressed her cheek. Hermione ran her hands over Harry's back. Harry started to pull off Hermione's T-shirt, while Hermione opened the buttons of his shirt. Hermione realized what they were doing and stopped for a moment.

"Do you really want this?" She surprised that her voice sounded so aroused.

Harry stopped for a moment. He looked at Hermione and closed his eyes. He was thinking. It took a few seconds till he opened his eyes again, but they were resolute. He started kissing her lips, her jaw, nibbled her ear. Hemione ran her hands through Harry's hair. His soft hair. Almost all of his buttons were open and her T-shirt was almost off. She opened the rest of the buttons and a bare torso became visible. Not very muscled, but skinny. In a sexy way. Hermione let her hand run over his upper part of his body and his nipples hardened.

Now she started kissing him from his lips, to his neck, to his chest, to his nipples, to his stomach, to his bellybutton. She stroked his abdomen with her nose. His skin became bumpy, goosebumps. The hair on his stomach was upright. She could see he was at least as aroused as Hermione was. Harry pulled off Hermione's T-shirt and a purple bra was revealed. Harry looked at them and cupped them in his hands. Normally Hermione would have made objection, but she liked it and she trusted him anyway. Which was rather weird, because _he_ was touching _her_ intimate parts and vice versa.

Suddenly Nearly Headless Nick floated into the room. Hermione and Harry let each other go and started to dress themselves, ashamed of what just happened. First, because what they did and second, because Nick caught them in this position. Why didn't he enter the room earlier? Or better, later? Or even better, not? Bad things seemed to happen to Hermione and Harry all the time. Nick was gone already when they were ready to leave the classroom. The didn't look each other in the eyes since Nick floated in, but now they did. Hermione felt she didn't regret what happened. Nick would shut his mouth, but she wondered what Harry thought.

"Do you regret it?" she whispered to Harry. Harry shrugged.

"I don't know. Not really, I guess.." he answered.

"We know we both want someone else, which makes it less uncomfortable. I think it felt pretty good," Hermione whispered. Harry nodded. "Yes, it did. You were better than Cho," he grinned. "From who did you learn that?"

Hermione froze for a minute. He didn't know he kissed Viktor and absolutely didn't know about Ginny. She decided she would tell him half of the truth. "Viktor."

"Yeah, I heard from Ginny you kissed him. But that's a long time ago. And I guess you didn't kiss him that often, did you? And you knew how to heat things up, if you know what I mean. Tell me, who was the other guy?" Harry grinned.

"Eh, I guess you cannot know." Hermione muttered. Harry frowned.

"Why not? You are one of my best friends!" He seemed really insulted.

"Because it's a shame. And I don't know if the one in charge will agree with me telling it to anybody," Hermione whispered.

"I understand," Harry answered. "I liked it. What we did, I mean. Not the fact that you don't tell me about that guy, but I will forgive you, if you learn me those things. I'm not really a good lover I guess."

Hermione laughed. "I thought you were pretty good though. Except for the fact that Nick floated in." She kissed Harry on the lips and told him good night. She was less sad when she left that classroom, but when she got into bed, she was shocked. Today she kissed Harry and almost more, Ron got together with Lavender and Ginny was still with Dean. What in the name of Merlin's beard was she _doing_ with her life? Kissing the _wrong_ guy. Or girl. Who she's been liking since not a long time. She was so messy. When she started sorting out things, she became more dark and dark again. She wished she stayed in that classroom with Harry and finished what they started. She wished she could sleep next to him in bed, get close to him, so she wouldn't think about those things at night. But tonight she didn't scratch herself. She didn't let herself do that. She suddenly realized Harry almost had seen the wounds and scars in her leg. Maybe she should be glad that Nick floated into that room today..


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I don't know if you people like this HP/HG-turn, but I'm going through with the story anyway. I'm not keeping my promise that I'm not writing for two weeks. Couldn't resist it. I like to write (although I'm studying maths). So I hope you'll enjoy next chapter.**

**Chapter 5**

The next day Hermione decided she couldn't take Ron and Lavender being together. She did the rest of the week. It hurt her too much to be in their presence. She went to the library as much as she could - and, strange enough, as much as Harry let her. She wanted to be in his presence so deeply bad. She was surprised. But Harry often chose to stay with her except for staying with Ron. Hermione thought Harry was annoyed with Lavender's presence. He didn't hate her, but he didn't like her either. So Harry and Hermione spent their time together more than ever. Ginny was still being with Dean, so Hermione couldn't stand being in her presence either. Just like Harry.

It's been a week after.. the Quiddith match when Harry came to Hermione.

"Psst, Hermione," he whispered, because they were in the library. "Can you come to the prefect's bathroom tonight? Let's say around nine o'clock?"

"What is your plan?" Hermione asked, having a thing in mind.

"You'll see. I think you'll like it though." Harry grinned.

* * *

That night Hermione went to the Prefect's bathroom ten minutes before the clock strikes nine times. When she arrived she saw Harry standing there. They went in and they stood there for a second, a little uncomfortably. It was Harry who said the first thing.

"Are you sure you want to be with me? Secretly?" Harry asked.

"Only if you want it too. Because otherwise I would use you and that would be horrible." Hermione answered. "And you know I'm not the one to love you."

"Yeah, I want it too. And I love you, but not in that way. Only as friends. Just like you." Harry whispered. Hermione shuddered. He started to fill the bath up with a lot of lather and bubbles. Suddenly she tended to kiss him. As if he felt that, he walked in her way and pressed his lips against hers. She responded his touch with a tense kiss. They were entangled. Hermione's hands ran through Harry's hair and Harry fondled her back and cheek. He let his left hand glide across her back and laid down his hand on her bottom. Hermione shuddered again. That felt good.

She started to unbutton his shirt and he pulled her T-shirt off. Harry pulled off his shoes and socks and Hermione started to undo his pants. Now Harry was almost naked, except for his underpants. Harry pulled off Hermione's shoes and socks and kissed her feet tenderly. Hermione shuddered again. He pulled off Hermione's pants, so now they were both almost-naked. It felt a little comfortable for a second, but then the moment was gone. Harry kissed Hermione like he never kissed her before. Really passionate and tender, but also very intense. Hermione was trembling on her feet. She didn't want to know how wet she was.

Harry slipped his hand across her back and pulled off her bra. He looked at her breasts and cupped them with his hands. He put her nipples between her fingers and started kissing Hermione in her neck. Hermione took a step in the direction of the huge bath. Harry understood the hint and took a step too, without breaking the contact. After a few steps, Harry pulled of his underwear and he did the same to Hermione. Now they were completely naked. Hermione felt a little uncomfortable about this intimacy, but Harry slid in the bath and lifted Hermione up from there. He put her in the bath, so she was covered in bubbles.

"You got a nice body, pretty sexy, so don't worry." Harry whispered in Hermione's ear. She blushed, because only Viktor once said she was pretty.

Harry softy bit in Hermione's ear and licked her earlobe. Hermione shuddered again. Harry massaged her breasts and let his hands glide across her skin to her most intimate place. He pressed Hermione against the edge of the bath and Harry pressed himself against Hermione. He put two fingers _in _Hermione and touched her most sensitive spot with his thumb. Hermione put her head in her neck and grabbed Harry's back. She put her nails in his back and Harry went faster. Then Hermione lost all control and came.

Harry took Hermione out of the water and put her on the edge of the bath. He took two towels and laid one on Hermione's shoulders, protecting her from being cold. They sat there, with their feet in the warm water. Hermione laid down against Harry's chest and started fiddling his stomach. Harry had his arm around Hermione. Hermione felt really comfortable lying like this, feeling like someone was protecting her. When she started to feel a little less tired, she started to kiss Harry's stomach, going up and started kissing his neck. Hermione saw Harry shuddering. He closed his eyes. Hermione caressed his stomach and his chest and pressed Harry against the floor.

She was sitting astride on Harry and started a trail of kisses across his skin. She felt him react to her doings and grabbed it. She was doing a hand job and right before he came, he stopped Hermione and turned around. Now Hermione was below Harry and he started kissing her.

"Are you ready.. you know..?" whispered Harry. Hermione nodded doubtfully. "Are you sure?" Harry asked.

Hermione thought. She was trusting him completely and it was all very nice and pleasing, but did she want to give her virginity to Harry? She didn't even have feelings for him. But she loved him. As a friend, but she loved him. It would be better than losing her virginity to a crappy bastard. At least it would be a good experience.

"But are you ready?" Hermione asked. "Because you don't love me."

"I love you. I am only not in love with you. That's another thing. I think my first time with you would be perfect. I really trust you, you know." Harry answered.

Hermione started kissing Harry again, and ran her hands through his hair, while he was caressing her stomach. When Harry let two fingers slip in _there, _he must have felt how much she was in the mood. He looked Hermione in the eyes and whispered softly: "Are you ready?" Hermione nodded and still looked in his eyes. He carefully slid in and Hermione bit on her lip. It hurt, but it feels good somehow. Harry looked her in her eyes and asked if he had to stop, but Hermione shook her head. "The pain will go away."

Harry started to slide in and out, when he finally found a rhythm. Hermione was enjoying it and felt she was feeling more and more aroused and was not far away from coming. She pressed her pelvis against Harry and that put her over the edge. She came and after two thrusts more Harry came too. He laid down next to Hermione and took her in his arms.

"Are you okay?" He asked. Hermione nodded, while she closed her eyes. Harry was stroking her hair and Hermione felt for the first time really safe. In his arms nothing could go wrong. The boy who survived Voldemort more often than most people would ever do. He's gone through so much. And for the first time in a while she smiled..


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So, after almost two weeks no updates - but a lot of studying -, I'm gonna post the sixth chapter. I hope you will like it. If nobody is interested in this story, I want to know. Actually I don't care. If one of you reads it and actually likes it, I'm gonna write anyway. I like it, although I'm not really good at it. (And I'm really bad in writing in English, I'm sorry for that ;p)**

**Chapter 6**

It's been a few weeks since Harry and Hermione have spent their night in the Prefect's bathroom. Hermione thought a lot about that night lately. She and Harry didn't become awkward with each other, but something had changed. Hermione thought it was in a positive way. They became closer to each other and seemed to understand each other without actually saying anything. Hermione wondered why she couldn't feel the thing for Harry, like she did with Ron. Or Ginny. Why couldn't she be in love with Harry? Or course she loved him, but as a friend. Not as a lover. Although they were behaving like lovers lately. But that was because they both couldn't get the person they really wanted. They didn't talk much about it.

Hermione was in the classroom, at History of Magic, when her thoughts wandered off to her. She thought of her last time with Harry and how she felt about it. She wanted to happen those things more often, and she felt ashamed of it. It was true that she felt better since it's happened. She was a lot less depressed than she first was and she didn't scratch herself that much like she did before. Was it right to go to bed with someone she didn't love that way? It made her feel good, but was it possible she could hurt him? Maybe they would grow to have feelings for each other. But it would be forced. Being forced to do or be something that way was never good. _But I will never fall for him, right? __I mean.. I know him for so long._ Hermione thought. _Yeah right, you know Ron for so long. And Ginny. _She sighed. Then she realized she was in the classroom.

Harry stared at Hermione. As usual he was not paying attention to the lessons of professor Cuthbert Binns. But he normally was not staring at her. She realized the reason must have been the fact that she didn't pay attention to the lesson, while she does all the time in classes. Harry looked her in her eyes and she felt like she wanted to kiss Harry. _That's weird, Hermione. He is not your boyfriend or something. It's not like you have any feelings for him._ But she didn't know that was true. It would be easier if she loved Harry and the other way round, but that was not the truth. She had to repeat that to herself. She could not grow to love him.

That evening she was in Gryffindor's common room, studying. She came back from the library a few hours ago now, but Harry was sitting in a corner, with Lavender, Parvati and Ron. She thought Harry didn't see her entering the room, because he didn't notice her. She decided she didn't want to pay attention to that side of the common room and buried herself in a book, when she nod off on the couch. It was pretty warm, you can say cozy. A man without a recognizable face drew up close to her. She could almost touch him now. The tension was getting unbearable. He was getting closer and closer. She was almost able to see his face..

"Hermione, are you okay? You are sweating like hell." Harry woke Hermione up. She was a little confused where she was. She was in the common room, in the couch.

"I think I fell asleep when I was reading a book.." Hermione replied, still a bit confused. She was so sweaty, and warm. That dream was so tense. She almost discovered who the man was. _It was a man, right?_ Harry must have seen she was thinking, because he looked a little concerned at Hermione.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Harry asked. "You like you just.. eh.. Never mind."

Hermione started blushing like an idiot, giving away more than she liked giving away. She was really ashamed of the way she was caught. In spite of that she hoped Harry could have woken her a few minutes later. Than she had known who the man was. She thought she was not going to know who it was. She looked around, realizing that she did not say a word to Harry for a couple of minutes, and saw she was alone with Harry. Lavender, Ron an Parvati must have gone to bed. I must be after midnight now.

"Well eh.. I think I'm going to bed now. You're awake now. I couldn't leave you here, alone. I didn't see you enter the room a few hours ago. Were you here for a long time?" Harry suddenly asked.

Hermione came to her senses again and thought. "Hmm, I guess." She looked Harry in the eyes for the first time that night. His beautiful green eyes. His mothers eyes. A shiver ran down her spine. She felt like she did that afternoon. She wanted him. She didn't know why, but she did. Very bad. That guy with so much baggage, a whole army couldn't carry, but he did. He was such a good guy. A kind, generous guy. He missed so many things in his life, no one was able to give him. He didn't get the love he deserved. She realized Harry was still there, not making a move to leave. He just stared in her eyes.

She moved closer to him, still warm and sweaty of her dream, and her lips touched Harry's. She shivered again, but not because she was cold. Harry took her tenderly and laid her down the couch, without breaking the kiss. Hermione caressed his hair. His soft black hair. Her nails scratched his head skin softly. The fire on the hearth was getting weaker and weaker, till it was almost dark in the common room. Harry and Hermione were just laying down the couch, Hermione laying with her head on Harry's chest and Harry his arms around Hermione. It must have been really late, but they didn't care.

"We have to go to bed." Harry suggested. "We can't lay here forever. Besides, people can't know we.."

"I know. I'm just being so comfortable right now.. In your arms.. It would be great if you just could sleep in my bed. You're so warm and comforting." Hermione said.

Harry caressed Hermione's hair. She liked it when he did that. She looked up in Harry's eyes. "What if I just slept in your bed this night? With you. You can't enter the girls' dormitory, but I can join you. We just could close the curtains and nobody will notice."

"Ron usually wakes me in the morning. I don't think he likes it when he discovers you slept in my bed all night." Harry said, a little sad. He kissed Hermione in her hair. "I love you, Hermione." He whispered.

They decided to go to bed. Both by themselves.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So, because I didn't write new chapters for a few weeks, I write my second chapter in two days. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 7**

Hermione went to bed and put her pajamas on. She closed her curtains and cried. She felt alone, although she spent all night with Harry. She really liked it, but something felt like missing to her. She wanted to fell asleep with him. Just in his comforting embrace. She took her file again and scratched herself, hard, in her leg. Her old wounds started to bleed again. Blood poured from her leg in her bed while tears flew across her face, but she didn't care. She could clean it up later. For the first time in days she felt immensely depressed again. Like nothing could stop the pain. Like she wanted to tear herself apart, just to make the pain go away..

The morning later she felt horrible. She put some clothes on and went to the common room to have breakfast with Harry. When she was sitting in the great hall with Harry, she felt how Harry looked at her with a searching glance. Her eyes must have been swollen, because of her bad night. The tears and the lack of sleep must have made her look horrible. And even Harry noticed it. But he was smart enough not to ask about it.

Rest of the day they were really quiet. They didn't talk that much. The first time Harry actually said something to Hermione, was that evening. He looked around him. It seemed he was checking if someone was following him or something. He sat down next to Hermione.

"Hermione, I have a surprise for you. Can you come with me?" Harry asked.

"Of course, what's up?" Hermione frowned.

"You'll see."

A moment later they stood near the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy and Hermione knew where they were.

"You don't want to show me that Malfoy is here, do you?" asked Hermione, but Harry just stood there with his eyes closed and walked by the piece of wall three times.

A door appeared. Harry opened the door and let Hermione enter first. The Room of Requirement was not that big this time, like the times with the DA, but it was really cozy. There was a big hearth with a crackling fire. There was an immense double bed. There was also a big couch in front of the fire. Harry lead Hermione to the couch and invited her to sit down.

"What do you think of it?" he asked.

"It's huge..." was the only thing she could bring out. She looked in his eyes. His green eyes.

"So, why eh.. Do you look like you.. eh.." Harry started. Hermione knew where this was going. She knew she wouldn't get away with a lie, because Harry would never believe her. She decided she should tell the truth.

"I eh.. have been a little sad lately. I haven't slept tonight." Hermione confessed. She turned a little red. Harry took Hermione in his arms. She tried to hold her tears, but it was a lost cause. Harry pulled Hermione closer to him and stroked her back. He didn't ask her what was wrong and she was relieved. She didn't want to talk about it. He knew what was bothering her the most. He didn't know about Ginny though, but he knew about Ron. That was enough for now. Eventually she stopped crying and Harry wiped her eyes. He kissed her on her forehead.

"Do you feel better now?" Harry asked. Hermione nodded weakly. She stared in his eyes. His beautiful green eyes. She kissed him on the lips.

"Are you sure? Do you feel okay?" Harry asked and Hermione nodded, more confident. Harry kissed her back.

Harry caressed her back and slid to the hem of her shirt and pulled it off. Hermione pulled of Harry's. She stroked him on his chest. It felt so warm, so nice. He started kissing in her neck, which gave Hermione goosebumps. She wanted him. In one move Harry lifted Hermione from the couch and walked with her in his arms to the bed. It felt very soft. He unbuttoned her pants and pulled them off, slowly. It made her trembling. She wanted him so much.

He laid down on her, not putting to much weight on her. Exactly enough to feel his warmth. Hermione pushed Harry on the bed and started to unbutton Harry's pants and pulled them off. He was only wearing underwear now. She saw he wanted her too. She kissed him shortly and started kissing his neck, his chest, his stomach, while she stroked his thighs. Suddenly he turned over and pushed Hermione easily on her back again. He undid her bra and sat down next to her. He stroked her cheek, her neck, lower. He stroked her nipples very soft. She shivered and her nipples reacted directly.

He went on, stroking her stomach, going lower. He stroked her thighs. She wanted him so bad. He stroked softly across her most intimate spot. He pulled her underwear off. Now she was completely naked, but she wasn't embarrassed. He stroked across her most sensitive spot and put two fingers in _there,_ while he was stroking her most sensitive spot. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling. She felt she was getting to her climax, but when she was almost there, he stopped.

"Not yet." he whispered in her ear. She was crazy of desire now. He started kissing her again and she kissed him back. He kissed her in her neck, and started a trace down _there__._ When he arrived he started kissing and sucking and licking _there_. At the same time he put two fingers in, which he moved in and out. It didn't take long when she climaxed. She had frozen for a second, but when she waited a second, she got her movements back. Now it was her turn. She sat down on his legs, straddling, and started to stroke his chest, his nipples, his stomach, heading down to his underwear, pulling it off.

When she did, Harry put her on her back again and started kissing her, really tense. She lost herself in that kiss. It was really passionate, but also soft and arousing. He looked her in the eyes and she knew he was going _in there_ again. She wanted that so much. She desired him. She slightly nodded an kissed him. He moved _in_. It was not painful anymore, like the last time. She was used to it. She liked it and groaned. When he noticed she was alright he started sliding in and out, finding a comfortable rhythm. After a few times she felt her getting to her climax again. When she did, it took him two times and he came too.

He laid down next to Hermione and took her in his arms. She laid her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, which was slowing down. She stroked his chest with her free hand. She wished she didn't have to leave that bed. As if Harry could read her mind, he got up and picked up his T-shirt, too big for Hermione, but put it on to her. He gave her underwear back and put on his own. He laid down in the bed again and he took her in his arms again. He covered themselves with the sheets and they fell asleep almost immediately..


End file.
